It’s January, and every January I think back to 2009. I was the Cultural Secretary at my University, and my main (or rather, only) job was to organize cultural events. I took immense pride in being selected for this very important role, where I get to basically skip classes to organize “cultural events” ;).
During Rhapsody 2009, I was busy working with other “important” students to organize a multi day cultural festival. One day, I came home to my roommate and best friend Su, who insisted I had to be her partner in the Amazing Race – one of the many activities planned for Rhapsody. As an organizer, I hadn’t expected to participate in any events, but Su, typically the most chill, pragmatic, and level-headed person I knew, wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was completely out of character for her to be so adamant about something seemingly trivial.
When I asked why she was so fixated on this race, she explained that she’d asked our other best friend, Ad, to be her partner, but he had flatly refused, saying he wanted to win. I was furious. How dare he speak to her like that? Did he really think we weren’t capable of winning? If our supposed best friend thought this way, I was certain all men in the world believed working with women meant they couldn’t win. Even after 15+ years, I feel just as angry as I did back then.
Growing up in India, while my parents never told me I was less than a man, as an awkward teenager, I found myself conforming to the social norms around me. This was our chance to show the world that we were capable – stronger than men – and that we didn’t need them to win a “stupid race.”
I said yes! Su and I had just one goal: beat these guys who were our best friends. Nothing else mattered. The morning of the race, we ran through potential tasks: three-legged race? Check! Relay? Check! Solving riddles? Check! Math problems? Double check! We even made a quick stop at a cobbler to fix a broken sandal before the race.
Out of over 100 teams, very few were all-women or mixed-gender teams. The entire race was designed by – drumroll – a few MEN, without actually going through it themselves! But we weren’t intimidated. The first level required teams to complete multiple tasks, with only the top 50 advancing. In one challenge, we had to jump into a mucky field with our hands tied behind our backs and grab hanging papers with our mouths. The papers were hung so high that Su and I couldn’t get one so we had to instead lie down in the muck and pick up fallen ones. This was just one of many tasks where men had an advantage. Su and I barely made it through, finishing 50th while our friends were 3rd, already rested and looking bored.
Level two was even more grueling, with only 25 teams advancing to the finals. One task required a player to stand holding a plastic bottle while their partner threw water from the second floor to “fill” it. I ended up completely soaked and freezing in the January cold. We were exhausted, hurt, and our mouths burned from eating ridiculously spicy gravy in another ridiculous challenge. The final task required collecting random objects from across campus – including a white undershirt. I practically cornered some random guy to get his undershirt (Su still jokes about how I didn’t give him much choice). We sprinted to the finish line, securing the 25th spot.
Looking around, we noticed Ad was missing. It turned out he had cheated, taking his motorcycle off campus to buy the required items, and didn’t make it back in time. They LOST! Su and I celebrated with pure joy, dancing and jumping around. The organizers had to remind us that there was still one level to go, but for us, it was already over. We had made it through as the only women in this outrageous race!
For years afterward, I reminded our friends about the day patriarchy lost and women won! Our friend finally had no comeback. While I know this doesn’t mean we’ll always win or that men will stop underestimating women, it reminds me that I’m stronger and braver than I think. Whenever I doubt myself, I remember this day when we beat the odds. Ad’s words – “I don’t want to team up with you because I want to win” – still make me furious, but winning the Amazing Race (well, at least beating the guys) makes me just as proud of Su and me as it did 16 years ago.
Element J 